So you’re in high school and you’re looking for love. Unsure where to start? Don’t worry — we’ve got you covered. Here’s everything you need to know on how to get a girlfriend in high school.
Adolescence is a challenging period in any person’s life. You’re experiencing intense emotions, physical transformations, and sexual development, all while navigating social interactions and juggling responsibilities.
Is it any wonder why teenagers swing from one mood to another? That influx of hormones is no joke, resulting in an uptick in impulsive risk-taking, and a desire to connect romantically with the opposite sex. It’s just like every teen movie Hollywood has ever produced: high school is where you find both love and yourself.
For some guys, though, it sounds easier said than done. Finding love in high school can be a challenge, especially since romantic relationships require social skills that one may not yet have fully honed. The good news is that it’s not an insurmountable challenge! You can find love and get the girl of your dreams. Just follow these 15 easy tips on how to get a girlfriend in high school.
Widen your social circle.
First things first: you can’t get a girlfriend if you don’t meet girls. The easiest way to do this is to network. The wider your network, the more girls you can meet. That means greater potential for a relationship to blossom, right?
There are several ways to successfully widen your social circle. First of all, take stock of the people you interact with regularly. Take every opportunity to build your network by joining organizations at school and within your community.
Go out with your friends and get to know their friends. The best way to improve your chances at finding a girlfriend is to make as many opportunities for yourself as possible.
Be friendly and approach a lot of girls.
Here’s the thing: you don’t have to focus on just one girl. You’re young, and high school is all about discovering yourself and building relationships.
It is perfectly normal to have crushes on a couple of girls, but your interactions should not be limited to just your crushes! By approaching a lot of different girls, you’ll be able to build your confidence and improve your social skills.
Take note that your approach should be friendly — you don’t want to scare the girls off. After all, this is just the first step and you’re still in the process of developing connections.
Don’t front — be yourself.
It can be tempting to let your insecurity take the lead, but resist! You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not just to get other people to like you.
It’s unsustainable, for starters. You can’t keep faking your way through every interaction. At some point, people will see through your ruse and your reputation will take a hit. That’s a serious problem, especially in such a volatile environment such as high school.
Some people think it’s cool to pretend that they’re into specific hobbies and interests just to hook a girl, but that doesn’t work. A relationship built on lies cannot last, and sooner or later you’ll be found out.
Plus, it’s not really fun when every interaction is built on deception.
Don’t forget good grooming and proper hygiene.
One of the most important things to remember is that you also need to work on yourself. You can’t expect people to look past poor hygiene and lack of personal grooming.
The thing about hygiene and grooming is that these are entirely within your control. A great haircut and properly fitting clothes can really take you up a notch in terms of attractiveness.
Nobody likes a slob, and not showering really isn’t just about your looks. Someone who can’t even be bothered to take care of himself won’t be equipped to take care of anyone else. Why then would any girl want to be with someone like that?
Show off your skills.
Let’s face it: you’ve got competition in high school. Everyone’s looking for someone, and it’s very easy to get lost in the shuffle.
Don’t be a wallflower. Don’t be the guy who disappears into the crowd and gets forgotten. You’ve got to get some attention!
The best way to do this is to highlight your skills. Try to get on the basketball team if you’ve got what it takes, or join the drama club if acting is more your speed. Participate in class and establish yourself as an academic achiever.
Bonus: by developing your skills, you’re not just attracting positive attention. You’re also improving yourself in the long run, and this should serve you well in the future.
Don’t talk down to her.
The first rule of interacting with girls and women: treat her like an equal. This should be a given, but society has seriously screwed up male-female interaction in its insistence on maintaining outdated traditions and stereotypes.
No girl enjoys talking to a condescending guy! Check your tone and be more observant whenever you’re interacting with a girl, and make sure that you’re not being patronizing or demeaning.
Always be confident in every interaction.
Confidence is super attractive, whether you’re in high school or a grown adult. Nobody enjoys spending time with someone who’s constantly denigrating themselves.
It’s not that you have to brag and be obnoxious when talking about yourself. You do have to refrain from putting yourself down non-stop. It becomes awkward over time, and people will start to avoid you once you gain reputation as a negative person.
When you approach a girl, your body language should exude confidence. Walk with your back straight and your shoulders away from your ears — don’t be slouching and shuffling when you walk over to her!
Maintain eye contact and angle your body towards her when you approach. Your body language speaks volumes, so make sure you’re sending the right signals.
Avoid cheesy pickup lines.
Lately, there’s been an upsurge of interest in pickup artists online, but don’t fall for it! These pickup artists prey on women with self-esteem issues and use manipulation tactics to get what they want — strategies that don’t work on smart people.
Avoid using pickup lines or anything similarly rehearsed. Girls are smart, and can easily look through your ruse. In fact, you could end up labeled a weirdo for going with canned pickup lines in dealing with girls.
Instead, you want to be spontaneous and natural in your interactions. This leaves girls with a more positive impression of you, and opens up the possibility of a relationship in the future.
Be genuine, not “nice”.
Here’s the thing: pop culture has taught boys that they have to do anything and everything to get the girl. Grand gestures are par for the course in romantic movies, after all.
But reality isn’t like Hollywood. Girls know when you’re only being nice to get on their good side. It shows through, and this will make girls wary of your “nice” gestures since they know you’re waiting for a reward.
It is better to cultivate genuine kindness. Help people because this is what is right, not just because you want a girl to notice you.
Really listen and pay attention to her words.
When you do get a chance to talk to her, make sure that you’re actually listening. It’s very easy to let your brain fly off on a tangent, but that’s the last thing you want!
Conversing with a girl is the best way to build a connection. This won’t happen if you spend your conversation thinking about impressing her, or ignore her words to focus on her looks.
Listen — actually listen — when she talks. Girls definitely appreciate it when you show interest in what they have to say and are able to remember the things they’ve shared with you.
Ask for her number.
So you want to keep building on the positive interactions you’ve had so far. The next step is to ask for her number so you can chat through text.
Texting is a great way to further your relationship and push it from friendship to love. Start by building a routine. Greet her every morning and right before you sleep — it’s an easy way to remind her of you without going overboard.
Speaking of going overboard, you don’t want to bombard her with texts. Don’t expect speedy replies, either, as people can be busy and often will need a bit of time to respond. Play it cool!
Don’t be a doormat.
When you’re just starting out with a girl, it can be tempting to just go along with everything she says. This is the fastest way to lose her interest, though!
She wants a boyfriend, not a yes man. You don’t have to give up your opinions just to get a girl to like you. In fact, not having a personality of your own can turn her off so fast.
We’re not saying go out of your way to antagonize her! Just be yourself, and don’t be afraid to show her your personality. Don’t worry if you happen to clash on some things — that’s perfectly normal and part of any relationship.
Share your dreams and ambitions with her.
Girls love it when you show responsibility and gumption, so it helps to share your future plans with them.
As a teenager, you don’t really have a lot of responsibilities yet. That doesn’t mean you can’t establish yourself as a reliable person. Talk about your goals and dreams, and let her know that you’re working on building a bright future. That’s definitely one way to attract her attention.
Don’t be desperate.
Never forget your ABCs: Always Be Cool. When interacting with girls, make sure to stay chill. You don’t want to scare girls off with your desperation.
We often hear people say that desperation is unattractive, but what exactly does that mean?
When you’re desperate, you end up doing things that you normally wouldn’t do. You say things you don’t actually believe in, just to impress a girl. You act like a clown because you think it’ll make girls like you more.
Unfortunately, this backfires most of the time. Girls will see your efforts as trying too hard, and it can turn them off.
Ask her out.
The key to getting a girlfriend is communication. You don’t build relationships by feeling each other out and dancing around your real intentions.
In fact, the girl could assume that you just want to be friends unless you actually speak up. This is very important! So many of the guys who complain about the friend zone don’t actually confess their feelings to the girl, which renders the entire issue moot.
Once you’ve established a good, friendly relationship with her, it’s time to be direct. Ask her out on a real and proper date, and make sure she knows that this is your intention! There should be no room for misunderstandings here.
Getting a girlfriend in high school isn’t impossible, but it’s also important to remember that you’ve got to take time for yourself. This is a very crucial time for personal development, so don’t forget to work on bettering yourself as well.
Don’t be afraid to fail! Yes, you’re going to strike out from time to time. Not every girl is going to be into you. That’s completely normal, so don’t let that failure eat away at your self-esteem.
Just because a girl says no, doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. She’s just not into you, or she’s into someone else, or there could be a lot of other reasons.
The important thing is to bounce back! Take every such interaction as a lesson and an opportunity to improve. Build your social skills and keep going! Meet more people, talk to more girls, and just take every chance to build better connections with everyone around you.
Soon, you’ll notice that your social skills are vastly improved and you’re less shy about interacting with others. It won’t take long before you get the girl of your dreams.