25 Subtle Signs A Co-Worker Likes You
So, that cute guy in the office has been chatting you up regularly over the water cooler, and this morning he even brought you coffee! Hold up — is he just being friendly, or is he into you? Decode the subtle signs a co-worker likes you, before you make your next move.
Real life rarely plays out like the movies. Those romantic comedies you love? They won’t really help you navigate relationships with the opposite sex.
Most guys won’t stand outside your bedroom window with a boombox. In fact, a lot of men are more likely to play it cool rather than make grand sweeping gestures to reveal their feelings.
This is particularly true when you’re dealing with a professional environment. Guys don’t want to jeopardize the workplace ambiance and make things weird by revealing their attraction too early, especially if they’re not sure you’ll reciprocate.
But don’t worry — even the subtlest of men can’t help but reveal a few clues to let you know how they really feel. All you have to do is pay attention.
Here’s a helpful list of subconscious signs to watch out for.
He might not get verbal with it, but a guy doesn’t have to speak to reveal his feelings. Body language is the first thing you need to focus on if you want to get a better handle on whether or not he likes you.
Maybe you’d like to play things cool too and not jump to conclusions, especially when you’re just getting to know each other. Watch out for these physical signs before you take the next step.
- His pupils dilate when he’s looking at you. They say the eyes are the windows of the soul, and in this case that adage is pretty literal. Bigger pupils mean obvious attraction, so definitely pay attention the next time you get a chance to make eye contact.
- He’s open rather than closed off. A guy who keeps his arms crossed while you’re talking isn’t into you at all. Is his hands in his pockets and his body pointed away from you? It’s a definite no go this time, and you are better off looking somewhere else.
- He leans towards you when you talk. His body’s pointed towards you, he moves a little closer, and he listens attentively to everything you say. It can’t really get more obvious than that.
- He’s eager to make physical contact. We’re not talking about the creepy guy who keeps trying to give you a shoulder rub! The last thing a guy would want is to send the wrong signals, so you can bet he won’t make any moves to touch you if he isn’t into you. A guy who’s interested will playfully tap your shoulder or lightly brush your arm when you’re in the elevator together.
- He smiles a lot when he’s with you. It’s not the usual polite smile coworkers share to keep the office peace— he’s looking really happy and his entire face completely lights up when you’re together. It’s a sure sign that a guy is enjoying your company when his eyes are crinkled and you can see his teeth.
There’s more to look out for than just body language when it comes to deciphering a guy’s inner mind. You can always find more clues before you jump to conclusions.
In some situations — like an office setting, for example — you want to at least be 80% sure that a guy is into you before you start sending signals of your own. Otherwise, it could get pretty darn awkward fast.
The good news is that there are subtle signs a co-worker likes you. Note that one or two of these signs might not mean anything, but seven or more of them together? You’ve got yourself a winner.
- You catch him looking at you all the time. He notices you, and even when you’re not interacting, he’s still paying attention to you.
- He finds ways to interact with you. Does he run into you at the water cooler “accidentally” all the time? Is he always coming by your work station just to say hi? He might not be ready to let you know how he feels, but he definitely can’t stay away from you.
- He asks questions beyond small talk. When you’re in an office, talking about the weather and chit-chatting about pop culture is par for the course. A guy who asks more questions and wants to know more about you is interested in getting to know you.
- He doesn’t play with his phone when you’re together. It’s a digital world, and most of us are glued to our phones 24/7. Not him, though, especially when you’re talking. He puts his phone away to listen to what you have to say.
- He notices small changes in you. New haircut? He’s the first to compliment you about it. Most guys don’t notice subtle changes in women’s style or fashion. A guy who’s really looking at you and paying attention? You better believe they notice.
- He tries to find common interests with you. Office banter is often grounded on the most basic of things: weather, work issues, and local news. If a guy is into you, he wants to find a deeper, more intimate connection with you by exploring common interests and hobbies.
- He values your opinion. Gathered around the pantry and talking to other coworkers? He keeps trying to loop you in and listens to what you have to say.
- He can repeat what you told him previously. Interpersonal relations at work can be rather basic, and most people don’t really pay attention to their coworkers’ stories. Not him — he can repeat your anecdotes back to you, or tries to bring up inside jokes built on your previous interactions. It’s the best way to build rapport, and shows that he’s interested in what you have to say.
- He likes to tease you from time to time. We’re not talking about the guys who make you uncomfortable — that’s an issue for Human Resources to handle. A guy who wants to flirt with you subtly will tease you gently, like ribbing you about your favorite sports team losing or poking fun at your taste in coffee. Want to test the waters? Tease him right back and figure out if you two have chemistry.
- He wants to connect with you on social media. We’re all overloaded when it comes to digital connections, so people are starting to get really picky on who they add and connect with. This is doubly true with coworkers — he won’t ask to add you on Facebook if he’s not interested in building a closer relationship with you.
- He follows you when you move outside his immediate group. Office gatherings are great for testing this theory! It’s one thing for him to pay attention to you when you’re all together in one group, but excuse yourself to join a different circle and wait to see if he’s still checking you out. If he follows you across the room to keep talking to you? Even better.
- He makes eye contact — a lot. It’s not just your eyes, either. A guy who sweeps over your whole face while you’re talking is definitely interested. Bonus: if he lifts his eyebrows ever so slightly, it’s another sign that he’s into you.
- He wants to make you laugh. Is he upping the ante on the humorous banter whenever you’re around? He’s trying to impress you with his wit and fun personality.
- He makes small but thoughtful gestures. He’ll try to play it cool and act all nonchalant, but getting you a coffee every time you’re working over time is a pretty good sign that he’s into you. He’s the first to volunteer to accompany you on a lunch run, and he’s right there to help you when it’s your turn to replace the toner on the printer. It’s the little things
- His voice goes a little lower when talking to you. Body language reveals a lot, but did you know that the voice can also reveal attraction? Men lower their voices subtly to impress women, while women will go higher with the pitch when they’re attracted to the guy they’re talking to. Pay attention and compare how he sounds when talking to you and to other coworkers.
A Closer Look: Shy Guy Secrets
So far, the subconscious signals we’ve mentioned earlier work for regular guys, but what if your dude is the shy type? It’s gonna take a bit more work, but it’s not impossible to decipher his feelings.
Even shy guys give off clues to let you in on their feelings, though they might be on the less obvious side. It takes a little more effort to see these subtle signals, so you need to know what you’re looking for.
In some cases, you’ll have to expand beyond just your guy’s signals. The way his friends and coworkers act when you’re together can be just as telling. Here are some very useful hints to watch out for.
- He gets awkward when you give him compliments. A guy who’s interested definitely wants to impress you, but that validation can also unsettle him if he isn’t expecting it! Shy guys are particularly prone to nervousness.
- He stays away, but you always catch him looking. He’s interested, but he’s way too shy to come over and spend time with you. Maybe he’s still trying to work up the courage. Meanwhile, he’s content to steal glances when he thinks you aren’t looking.
- His friends and coworkers start teasing him when you’re around. It’s not just the things they say to needle him. Watch out for the playful looks exchanged within his friend group, and listen to the subtle clues they share. His friends know how he feels for you, and they’re often very good sources when it comes to insider information.
- He starts adjusting his clothes when you’re around. It’s a subtle sign of nervousness and can also convey that he wants to look good for you! Fixing his clothes and fidgeting with accessories can mean that he’s self-conscious about his appearance, especially when you’re right there looking at him.
- He’s witty and quick with the banter when online, but not in person. For a lot of shy guys, the Internet has been the biggest wingman. He’s able to share his fun personality with you when there are screens involved, but gets nervous when you’re actually face to face.
Men aren’t impossible to understand, though reticence can be one of their options when it comes to feeling out potential romantic partners. Make sure you’re not looking closed off — pay attention to your own body language — so your guy will eventually give more obvious signals if he’s really into you.
It’s definitely true that some guys just want to play mind games and send out mixed signals for fun, but guys who do that will mostly go hot and cold. Their interest in you can go from 0 to a 100 and back again in the snap of a finger. Those guys are definitely easy to weed out.
The best course of action here is to take things easy and go slow. One or two of the subtle signals mentioned earlier might not mean much, so hold off and wait for more information before you jump to any conclusion.
Be twice as careful when you’re dealing with possible office romance. Navigating office interaction is never easy, especially when the opposite gender is involved. The last thing you want is to jump to the wrong conclusions and make the work environment super awkward.
You don’t have to stay completely passive while doing your research, though. Two can play the game, so even without giving away all your cards, you can still subtly figure out if there’s chemistry between the two of you.
Be friendly, make opportunities to interact, and be more open to possibilities. A romance might just be in the cards.
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