I Need A Girlfriend — Honest Advice To Get And Keep A Girl
Today you told yourself, “I need a girlfriend!” Easier said than done? Don’t worry, we’re here to help you get the girl of your dreams — and keep her in your life.
Here’s the thing: getting a girlfriend isn’t exactly easy, and keeping her can be even more complicated.
The problem is that men have picked up the wrong lessons over the years, from both society and popular culture. This has led to misconceptions and misunderstandings where love and the opposite sex are involved.
So when you say, “I need a girlfriend,” it’s very important to unpack the contents of that statement. We will assume that you don’t mean a casual fling — you want a real, healthy relationship built on mutual love, honor, and respect.
But real life isn’t a fairy tale, and no one is guaranteed a happy ending.
A real relationship requires hard work, effort, and commitment. Both parties need to have a certain level of emotional intelligence and maturity in order to make things work.
So, forget about those tricks that purportedly help you pick up chicks. Those “tricks” are not effective or valuable if what you want is a real relationship. There’s no gaming the system, because we’re dealing with actual human beings and emotions here.
In this article, we’ll cover two areas: how to get a girlfriend, and how to keep her. Both are equally important in pursuit of a true human connection.
How To Get A Girlfriend
If you’ve said, “I need a girlfriend,” one too many times, this is the answer you’ve been waiting for.
As we’ve said earlier, no tricks here. Rid yourself of the mentality that love is a game. In fact, a woman worth your time and effort will not stand for the usual mind games that pick up artists love to play.
Instead, we will focus on actions that can real results. Let’s get started.
Go out and broaden your network
What’s your usual routine? We’re willing to bet that you shuffle between your house and office on the regular, with just a sprinkling of bars and restaurants on the weekend. That’s too boring!
You won’t meet new people if you stick to your old haunts. Instead, you need to broaden your horizons and make the opportunities for yourself.
Join a book club, hit up a comedy bar, go on a wine tasting event. Besides, joining an event you’re interested in means you are bound to meet like-minded people, which makes building that personal connection a lot easier.
Be ready for a real commitment
There are no half measures here, if you want a real relationship. You have to be ready to go all in.
Women can sense when you’re playing them, and they most likely won’t stand for that if what they want is a real connection. Before you make any attempt to meet and date, it’s important to consider every aspect of your emotional status.
Are you really ready to get into a relationship? If you’ve never been in one, think about your motivations. Are you envious of your peers? Are you lonely? Take these factors into consideration.
If you’re dealing with a bad breakup, maybe don’t get into a relationship just yet. At least wait until you’re truly over your ex, so you don’t create unnecessary stress for yourself and your new partner.
Don’t push yourself into a relationship unless you’re truly physically, mentally, and emotionally ready.
Don’t be a doormat
Some men think that the only way they can get a woman is by agreeing to everything she has to say. They are afraid to antagonize her, and therefore make all efforts to just cater to her every whim.
That’s not boyfriend material — that’s a doormat! You don’t want to let anyone walk all over you, and women will find you disingenuous. After all, it’s not normal to agree with somebody 100%.
Being a doormat shows a woman that you’re way too desperate, and she’ll know that you aren’t the best candidate for a real, long-term partnership. Yes, you definitely said, “I need a girlfriend,” but she doesn’t have to know that!
This advice sounds a little too generic, but bear with us. You know how a lot of women lament the “nice guy”? This is because being nice is the lowest common denominator. No one wants to willingly date someone who identifies as arrogant and obnoxious!
However, if nice is all that you have to offer, women will definitely look somewhere else. You have to a full-fledged person with hopes, dreams, and hobbies.
When we say “relationship,” we mean women are also seeking out the same strong and long-term partnership that you’re looking for. That means they want a man who is just as complex and interesting as they are, so that they can build a life together.
Develop your inner life! Have fun hobbies, follow your dreams, be ambitious! Women love and respect men who have goals and are working hard to achieve them.
Don’t forget about your hygiene!
Indeed, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but there are ways to make yourself more attractive. Don’t be too focused on what society believes is beautiful or handsome, because otherwise, only guys who look like Chris Evans would be in a relationship, and that’s not true.
If you think yourself ordinary or plain, don’t worry. Just focus on the areas you can improve. A good haircut is important. Make sure your hair complements your face shape.
Maintain good hygiene. Shower regularly and use products that are appropriate for your skin type. A lot of men mistakenly see skin care as a feminine thing, but why should taking care of yourself be limited to one gender?
Another tip: get clothes that fit you right. Wearing shirts that are too big for you make you look way too sloppy and greatly diminish your attractiveness.
Finally, try to be fitter and healthier. Hit the gym or go for a run regularly — do these things both for yourself and for your future partner. Exercising has wonderful benefits for both physical and mental health, after all.
Be confident and let her know your intentions
Don’t be that guy who hides his feelings, acting like a friend when he wants something more from the woman. People like to talk about the friend zone these days, but lots of men who find themselves in there never even let the woman know about their feelings.
If you want a romantic relationship, you have to be upfront. Let her know what you want! Women aren’t psychics, and no one wants to be presumptuous. If you want to date, let her know.
How To Keep Your Girlfriend
Now that she’s in your life, the bigger challenge is keeping her. Relationships, as we’ve mentioned earlier, require a certain level of work and commitment.
This isn’t a one time thing, where you win a girl’s heart and kiss her then wait for the screen to freeze and fade to black. Real life means you have to keep going even after happily ever after.
Of course, it takes two to make a relationship work. This isn’t entirely on you alone. It’s a partnership after all, and you both have to pull your weight in order to keep the relationship healthy and strong.
That being said, when you find a woman worth your love and devotion, you clearly never want to let her go. What’s the best way to keep her in your arms?
Be a good listener
It’s not enough to just listen to what she says and nod your head at every appropriate junction. Learn to really listen. How would you feel if your partner ignored you?
Obviously, that would suck. Your partner is someone who’s got your back and listening to each other is a basic expectation for any relationship. Take time to hear what she’s telling you, even if sometimes it seems like she’s really just venting about her bad day.
Give her that opportunity to talk and to feel like someone understands what she’s going through.
Don’t forget to compliment her.
The thing about being in a relationship is that sometimes, you forget about the small things. Remember that you have to renew that loving feeling again and again.
Don’t forget to notice the small changes in her appearance and always make her feel like the most beautiful woman in the room. Notice when she uses a new perfume or gets a haircut. Be there to compliment her when she tries on a new dress.
It’s easy to take each other for granted in a relationship. Though you may not forget to be grateful in your heart, it helps to say it out loud now and again.
Any woman would be happy to hear her man say thank you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a small gesture; just make sure to let her know you appreciate everything she does.
Act like you’re still in the early dating stages
Remember how you had butterflies in your stomach back when you were just dating? It was a magical, wonderful moment.
For many relationships, that stage is fleeting as you get to be more comfortable with one another. There’s nothing wrong with developing comfort in a relationship, but of course you want to have that sweet, giddy feeling in your heart again and again.
Don’t lose the sweetness. Go on a surprise date, take a random trip, send her flowers at work when least expects it.
Don’t let yourself go
She loves you for who you are, definitely, but no one wants to be in a relationship with a ticking time bomb. Other than losing your physical attractiveness, letting yourself go means you’re living an unhealthy lifestyle.
Your girlfriend is going to worry about your health and what this means for your relationship. Make sure to work on yourself and always work to stay attractive to your beloved, as best as you can.
Keep your promises
Trust is key to maintaining a good relationship. She’s here because she loves and trusts you. She knows that you’re someone she can rely on and that she can count on you to have her back in anything, whether big or small.
Breaking one small promise from time to time for valid reasons isn’t an issue. You are human, and sometimes circumstances are out of your control. But if you’re always breaking promises and can’t seem to keep any of them, one day she’ll get tired and leave you for someone who can.
Share your feelings
A lot of men find it difficult to open up, because society has deemed it unmanly to talk about your feelings. But, for women, opening up is very important and crucial to any relationship.
They want to know what’s on your mind, and they need to hear it from you. Remember that every relationship is a partnership. Don’t be afraid to talk to your partner and let her know what’s going on.
Give her some space
It’s all about balance. Obviously, we talked about taking time with her and not taking her for granted. At the same time, though, never forget that you are still two individuals. Losing that sense of self can be bad for any relationship.
You want to maintain your individuality while in a relationship, so that you can bring more into it in the long run. If you lose yourself, it becomes a co-dependent situation where you don’t know where one ends and the other begins.
Let her have some personal time. Don’t be in her face and crowd her all the time. She needs time to spend with her friends and family, and you need the same.
Be sensitive to her needs, but don’t overstep your bounds
Respect is highly important in any relationship. Men are trained to be the “provider” of the family, but that doesn’t mean you should treat her like a child.
Never forget that she’s a grown woman — someone who is as smart, talented, and driven as you are. As her partner, you want to give her everything she needs, but you also need to be respectful of her independence and her identity.