Why Don’t Girls Like Me – Top 5 Reasons
All your friends are lucky in love — except you. You’ve done everything you can, but the girls just aren’t coming. At some point, you ask yourself: why don’t girls like me?
We know what it is like. You go out with your friends on a fun night out, and they seem to have a great time chatting up the ladies. You, however, are stuck alone at the bar, seemingly striking out with every woman in your general vicinity.
Girls just don’t seem like they’re into you, no matter how hard you try. It gets to you, at some point, and you start to wonder if you’re just unlovable. These experiences can mess with your self-esteem, so much that it may even damper your enjoyment of fun times with your friends.
First of all, don’t lose hope. Some men become very bitter after they’re rejected several times. Instead of taking the positive approach and looking to improve themselves, they end up blaming women for their romantic woes.
Women are people, and they have their own preferences and desires. You can’t strong arm them into liking you! To paraphrase the philosopher Rumi, wisdom is knowing that you can only change yourself.
Second, it bears noting that not all women dislike you. As mentioned, women have their personal preferences, too, and guaranteed there is a woman out there who thinks you’re the best guy they’ve ever met.
It is entirely possible that you’re getting rejected because you’re going for women who just aren’t into your type. Don’t take it personally. Accept that you’re not everybody’s type, but that doesn’t mean you are undesirable to the entire female population. You just haven’t met your core audience yet.
Third, you have to recognize that every guy strikes out sometimes. Nobody has that perfect batting average — not even the hottest guys in Hollywood. There are women who definitely dislike Brad Pitt’s looks because — again — women have personal preferences. Thinking they’re a homogenous bunch is the biggest mistake you can make.
You might be having a bad day now, or even a bad month, but you’ve got to stay strong. It doesn’t mean you’re permanently doomed to a life of no romance.
Finally, the best thing about asking a question like “why don’t girls like me,” is that you recognize that you’re off your game. That’s the first step towards personal improvement — realizing that there is a problem and then working to fix what you can.
You want to improve your chances, or to at least be able to converse with more women and get more numbers when you’re out having fun with your friends. There are, indeed, a few things you can work on to make yourself a better, more interesting potential partner to the opposite sex.
So, why don’t girls like me? We’re here to tell you why. Read on and work on improving your approach.
You lack basic grooming skills.
Television and movies have hammered a very problematic theme into our brains: caring about looks is shallow.
That’s patently untrue, as you probably can tell. You want women who look good, don’t you? Obviously, women care about looks as well. It’s hypocritical to want a woman who takes care of herself if you can’t even handle the basic grooming steps.
A lot of men think that they’re ugly and it can’t be helped. That’s not true! You just haven’t discovered the wondrous effects of proper grooming, good hygiene, and well-fitting clothes. You might not have conventional movie star good looks, but if you know how to dress for your body and you smell good, you’re already 75% attractive.
It also helps to be physically fit. You don’t have to have huge muscles, but you do have to look like you care about your health. Working out — even just running every weekend — can show women that you’re not some unhealthy slob who spends all day indoors covered in cheese dust.
It isn’t just your looks, to be honest. You’re projecting a positive and healthy image, and women respond to that. When you take care of yourself, you also gain confidence and that boosts your attractiveness to everyone around you.
You have a very negative attitude.
If you’ve ever seen SNL’s classic “Debbie Downer” sketch then you know exactly what we’re talking about.
Imagine this: you’re having fun at a party, listening to some good music. Just then, some guy walks up to you and starts whining about life and everything in general. Womp womp.
Nobody enjoys listening to someone else whine. Ranting from time to time is good, but there’s a time and place for everything. Drinking and venting to friends after work, no problem. Doing the same to a woman you’ve just met? Nope.
A lot of men go for self-deprecating humor as a means to gain a few laughs. That in itself isn’t bad. Poking fun of yourself makes you seem more approachable and down to earth. Plus, people will see that you’re not cocky and full of yourself.
However, there’s a difference between poking fun and full on putting yourself down That makes the people listening to you feel awkward, and don’t be surprised if they start wandering off.
You also don’t want to be the guy who criticizes everything. Some people think they can gain sympathy by talking about all the bad things in the world, and in a way, complaining together can be fun.
However, a person who keeps putting everyone around him down is just as annoying. No one enjoys that sort of negativity, especially when the atmosphere is supposed to be light and relaxed.
You’ll end up pushing everyone away, and no woman will enjoy staying around if you have nothing but complaints to offer. Rethink your communication strategy, and figure out if what you say is bumming everyone out without you realizing it.
You have nothing interesting to offer.
A lot of guys tend to bemoan the fall of the “nice” guy and how women don’t like them because they’re “too nice”. They say this like women prefer bad boys to decent people. Thing is, nice is the default. It’s not spectacular, it’s not interesting, and it’s just not enough.
Women meet a lot of nice people daily, because being polite and kind to others is the most basic of social interaction. Just because you listen to women talk and you hold the door for them, doesn’t make you special in their eyes.
When you say you’re nice and that’s all you have to offer, you’re already telling the woman you’re with to look somewhere else. Finding a decent man is the baseline, but if you can’t do anything other than that then of course she won’t be interested!
What you need is to take stock of your interests and hobbies. What are you into? What do you enjoy doing? What do you want to try?
All of these are important, and though you won’t necessarily find a girl who is into everything you enjoy, that’s perfectly fine. What you need is to show a woman that you’re not just some boring dude who has nothing going on in life.
If you think your interests are too niche or too geeky, don’t worry. Passion is the key! A woman can appreciate your passion for hobbies, even though they don’t share them. Besides, you’ll eventually find a woman who thinks your geeky hobbies are cool, and wouldn’t that be a fun day?
It’s not just hobbies, either. Read more books, watch more movies, enjoy new music — all of these can make you a more interesting conversationalist and can get you a long way when you’re chatting up a girl at the bar.
You have zero confidence.
As we’ve mentioned earlier, confidence is attractive. It affects the way you carry yourself and how you conduct your communications. A woman can clock your confidence level without you even saying anything.
It’s not that you have to be cocky, but when you have zero confidence in yourself, you’re essentially shooting yourself in the foot. If you don’t have any faith in yourself, why would any woman have faith in you?
That’s the thing you’re projecting, pretty much. You’re telling her that you’re not worth her time, and a woman can pick up on that.
But let’s say you’re actually confident, except you fail at communicating it. There’s just one thing to check: your body language. You might not notice it, but you could be showing a lack of confidence simply because your body language is sending the wrong signals.
When you approach a woman, you don’t have to be cocky but you do have to look sure of yourself. Make sure your shoulders are straight and wide, approach her fearlessly, and smile. Shake her hand with just the right strength — no weird squeezes or lingering on her fingers!
Don’t be stiff, and make sure to maintain eye contact. Don’t crowd her out, either, and maintain a healthy distance. No one likes a creep, so be respectful. Be direct and speak with a strong, even voice.
You treat her like a trophy, not a person.
Have you ever met someone who spoke at you, rather than to you? That’s what a lot of women get, to be honest. They have men who already have a clear narrative in their head approach them, and the women are really just placeholders for these men’s fantasies.
When you approach a woman at the bar, don’t just go on and on without listening to what she’s saying. That happens a lot, and women are clearly already tired of men who don’t actually see them as people.
Listen to what she’s saying, and don’t talk to her just so you can talk over her. Understand what she’s saying, respond accordingly — that’s not hard.
Don’t look at women as trophies or as princesses. One mistake a lot of men make is that they put women on a pedestal. This can make women feel awkward and it makes for complicated conversations.
Instead of talking to her like she’s a normal person, you end up weirding her out when you act like she’s a divine being from some other realm. No woman’s gonna stick around for that weirdness.
Bonus: your intent isn’t clear.
Here’s a particularly useful tip if you’re wondering why the woman you like — someone you’ve known for some time — isn’t responding to your romantic overtures.
It’s likely that she doesn’t even know that you’re into her that way.
The concept of the “friend zone” has become a hot topic over the past decade, but in reality, a lot of men who complain about being stuck in it, failed to perform the most basic of steps. They never told the woman they were interested in her romantically.
Unless a woman is explicitly into you, she wouldn’t go out of her way to figure out whether or not you’re looking to become a boyfriend rather than just a friend. If the vibe you deliver is one of platonic friendship, that’s how she’s going to respond.
If you want her think of you as a potential romantic partner, you have to let her know that this is your intention in getting close to her. Be flirty, not just friendly. Ask her out! You don’t get to play “friend” then complain about the “friend zone,” man.
And there you have it. If the question “why don’t girls like me,” has ever crossed your mind, we’ve demystified the entire issue for you. Hopefully, this becomes the kick in the rear that you need to up your game.
Besides, improving yourself is always a good thing, whether or not you do it for a potential partner. When you level up your game and become a better version of yourself, you don’t even have to do a lot of work and women will start showing their interest.
Living your best life is definitely attractive, so go forth and do exactly just that.
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