Speed Dating Questions: 45 Of The Best You Can Ask
Make the most of the five to ten minutes you get by asking the right speed dating questions.
What’s the best way to meet someone new? Most people will hit up the bar to see if there’s anyone interesting. They’ll maybe buy someone a drink, try to chat them up, but that doesn’t always work out great.
It’s a lot of work for very little payoff. More importantly, it’s hard to know if you’re on the same page as the person you’re trying to chat up. Maybe they just want a good time, and they’re not looking for a real relationship. That’s perfectly fine, unless you want something more.
When it comes to dating, you want to be sure that you’re meeting people who are looking for the same thing you want. Otherwise, you’re just wasting each other’s time.
That’s why speed dating is so much more fun and efficient. First of all, you are all gathered there because you want something more than just casual dating. You want to meet new people who also want to be in a real long term relationship. That alone eliminates a lot of guess work.
Secondly, you get to meet a lot more people than you normally would. Most of the time, you only have a very small pool of people to choose from, and that doesn’t really bode well if you’re looking to meet someone new.
With speed dating, you only have to attend one event to meet a significantly larger number of people. It’s a great opportunity and a lot of fun, so there’s really no reason to skip if you’re serious about finding someone.
But the problem for most who join is that they’re not prepared. They go in and just make small talk, totally not ready for the event. This is even more problematic when you’re the sort of person who gets nervous easily. You’ll probably spend your five to ten minutes muttering about the weather.
What a waste! You only get a short amount of time so it is important to make the most of every second. You need to have a list of speed dating questions at hand, otherwise it’s very easy to just go blank.
It’s completely normal to be nervous, but you don’t have to let it mar your speed dating experience. Preparation is the best way to make sure that you don’t lose your chance to meet someone and find love.
So, what are the best speed dating questions to ask? There are a few generic ones you can ask, but really it’s more important to know what answers you need in order to decide whether or not to date a person.
This will differ depending on your personal preference and priorities. Some people don’t want to date divorcees, while others think religion is a deal-breaker. The important thing is to decide on what you want to find out, so you can make the right choice for yourself.
Here are a few sample speed dating questions to consider, in no particular order.
- What are you looking for in a partner?
The best way to get a straight answer is to be direct with your questions. Asking about their ideal partner is the easiest way to know if you’re a good match or not. If they’re looking for someone completely different from you, move on.
- Have you ever been married?
Some people are okay with dating divorcees, others don’t want to deal with the baggage. Either option is fine. Just make sure to find out early on so you don’t waste each other’s time.
- What do you do for work?
This is a very simple and common sense ice-breaker, so much that you might find it too generic. However, it’s a basic question that will help you establish their professional and financial status — both of which can be very important in a relationship moving forward.
- Describe your perfect date.
This sounds trite, but it really isn’t. It is very hard to date someone you’re not compatible with, so asking them to describe their perfect date is a good way to know what they’re into. If they like hiking but you’re a couch potato, there’s really no easy way to get this relationship going.
- What’s your worst dating experience?
People inadvertently reveal a little too much when you ask them to complain. They can show a nastier side that they might not want to show on a first date. Let them talk about something negative and see if they’re still kind and polite.
- Do you have any pets?
Some people are allergic to cats, so better get this tidbit of information in your arsenal of questions. You need to talk about the small things, because the devil is in the details.
- How important is religion to you?
There’s really no easy way to ask this, but it has to be asked. Getting into a relationship with someone who has very strong religious beliefs can be a problem if you’re an atheist. Having two different religions in one family is possible, but talking about it ahead of time minimizes the potential for conflict significantly.
- What book changed your life?
Ask this question not because liking the same book makes you compatible, but because it lets you see the other person’s personality a lot more easily. You want to know what values they hold dear, and talking about the most life-changing book they’ve ever read is a good way to do so.
- If there’s one movie that you think I should watch, which would it be?
Where their favorite book reveals their values and life philosophy, the movie they recommend reveals a lot about their preferences. Some people like horror, others prefer comedy. Either way, asking for a movie recommendation is a great way to get a feel for what makes them tick.
- How do you like to spend your weekends?
Are you a homebody? Someone who likes spending their weekends partying isn’t the best fit for you. Though you can easily look past some differences, this might be a valuable enough question to see if you can be considered compatible.
- Do you consider political compatibility important in a relationship?
Politics has always been a difficult topic to handle, especially when you add dating to the mix. That said, some people think having the same political beliefs is important, as these beliefs reflect values and where someone stands on key social issues.
- What’s the best thing about you?
Some people will play coy, while others know exactly what their biggest selling points are. This is also a great question to ask to catch if someone is seriously lacking in confidence. Insecurity can be a real problem in relationships, so this is worth considering.
- Are kids part of your long-term plan?
Yes, it seems a little early to ask, but why play mind games when you already know that everyone here wants to be in a relationship? Kids can be a deal-breaker in relationships, especially if one party wants none. Get this question out of the way early on and you won’t have problems later.
- What cause are you passionate about?
Passion is great, and asking people to talk about the causes they are actively supporting is a great way to know them more deeply.
- Where do you see yourself in five years?
Does it sound a little too much like a work interview question? That’s fine. The five year plan is a good way to see if you’ll be compatible. Maybe they’re looking to move to a different city for work, or they want to get married in a few years. The point is that you need to know if you can fit into each other’s plans.
- Describe your most embarrassing moment.
If they can’t laugh at themselves, they’ll be way too uptight to be in a happy relationship with you.
- How would you spend your money if you won the lottery tomorrow?
it’s just a fun question, to be honest, but it also helps you see their priorities.
- What is a dating deal-breaker?
This is a great way to know if you’ll be good together, because obviously you’re trying to build a strong relationship. Find out each other’s deal-breakers to avoid conflict later on.
- How do you relieve stress?
Some people are excellent at self-care, but others simply can’t handle stress. Relationships are fun when they’re going smoothly, but life happens. You need someone who can handle stress with grace and patience.
- Is there anything you’d change about yourself if you had the chance?
Again, this lets you identify insecurity and self-doubt straight up. We all have things we want to improve, but people with low self-esteem will have a lot to say.
- Why didn’t your last relationship work out?
This is a difficult question, but talking about failed relationships will help you figure out whether or not this is something you want to pursue.
- What’s the first album you ever bought?
Some questions are for fun or to keep things light. Asking about their musical preferences is a great way to gauge taste and to talk about something nostalgic.
- What TV show are you binge-watching lately?
Another fun and light question to ask. Plus, it could be an excellent ice-breaker.
- What would you like to accomplish?
A person who’s very goal-oriented is definitely attractive. Let them tell you what they’re working towards, and figure out how this can affect a relationship.
- How do you handle disappointment?
Relationships can be a lot of work, and you have to know that love isn’t automatically a fairy tale. Disappointments are normal, so asking about their ways of coping is valid and important.
- How often do you talk to your parents?
You need to gauge if this person has a healthy relationship with their family, so this question is a definite must.
- Describe your best vacation.
Mountain climbing and sky-diving? Some people think the best vacations involve death-defying stunts. If this isn’t for you, move on to someone else.
- What achievement are you most proud of?
We all have accomplishments that we’d like to brag about, and so this is a great way to see each other’s personalities and priorities.
- What is the last book you read?
Another taste question! It’s just an easy ice-breaker to keep things fun.
- Do you have a monthly budget?
Money issues plague a lot of relationships, so much so that this is one of the best speed dating questions. You want to know if you have same attitude towards money to avoid conflict later in the relationship.
- Are you a morning person?
Not a big deal, but it’s a great way to find out what the other person is like.
- What do you find most attractive?
Eyes, legs, hair, lips? This is a simple and fun question of preference.
- What’s your guilty pleasure?
Ice cream and Netflix, reality television and wine, or salsa dancing at the local community center? Have a bit of fun with this question and learn more about your date.
- Do you exercise often?
this is a good way to gauge the other person’s attitude towards health.
- How many languages do you speak?
This is an opening question that lets you know more about the other person. Maybe they went overseas for work, maybe they went volunteering in a particular community. Listen.
- Do you think sexual compatibility is important to a relationship?
A challenging question because it can be a little too forward, but sexual compatibility definitely can play a significant role in any relationship.
- Who is your closest friend?
Listen to them talk about their friends and their shenanigans to get a better feel of their personality and how they handle connections with other people.
- When was the last time you cried and why?
Vulnerability can be a very powerful component in any relationship, so asking about their emotional experiences is very helpful.
- What keeps a relationship strong?
Talk about the cornerstone of relationships according to them to see if you are compatible. This is a great way to see if you share any values.
- What’s the best way to handle conflict?
The ability to handle difficulties in a relationship is important. You want someone who approaches conflict the same way you do.
- What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done?
Let them talk about something crazy to get things in the right, fun mood.
- If there is one thing I need to know about you, what is it?
We all have something we think is our most defining value or character. Let them share this with you.
- What is your most prized possession?
Values and priorities — definitely important if you’re trying to get to know someone.
- Tell a joke.
Off-beat but definitely a fun question.
- Are you single?
Weird question at first glance, because this is a speed dating event, but you never know. Ask anyway.
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