Top 10 Psychological Tricks to Make Your Ex Want You Back
There’s always that one ex — the one that got away. You want another shot and vow to make things better this time, but your ex is ready to move on and date someone else. Don’t worry — we know how to make your ex want you back. Read on.
Here’s the thing: not all romantic relationships end in happily ever after.
This is just a fact of life. Couples start out madly and passionately in love, but things can sour and the relationship just collapses.
Sure, you go into every relationship hoping and believing that this is the one you’ll spend the rest of your life with. You pour every ounce of love, and time, and effort to building a life together.
When the relationship ends, it’s hard not to feel lost and unmoored.
Your first instinct might be to beg and cajole, hoping your ex will take you back. You’ll do anything just to regain balance and stop the heartache.
But the truth is, not all relationships are worth salvaging. Before we tell you the psychological tricks to make your ex want you back, it’s important to decide whether or not the relationship deserves a second chance or not.
Make Your Ex Want You Back
The first step to take is to rein in your emotions. Easier said than done, right? After all, a breakup is messy, painful, and nothing but a jumble of complicated feelings. Asking someone to not be emotional after heartbreak is a tall order.
Unfortunately, this is absolutely necessary. You shouldn’t go on impulse and run to your ex, begging and crying for another chance. It’s only going to make things worse, and won’t really be helpful to your cause.
So, start by taking care of yourself and giving yourself some time to grieve. Take your time, practice self-care, and make sure that you have the space you need to process your emotions.
Once ready, you need to review the relationship and decide whether or not it deserves another go around. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
What led to the breakup?
Any project post-mortem will require the participants to review the high and low points. When reviewing your relationship, you want to pinpoint the issues that led to the breakup.
This is a good way to identify whether or not you want to pursue the relationship again. If the cause of the breakup is something you can fix, like minor communication issues, then it’s probably worth another shot.
if the reason for the breakup is much more toxic, though, you need to recognize that breaking up might be for the best.
How did people view your relationship?
Yes, you definitely don’t need people meddling in your romantic relationships. However, the people close to you can see what you don’t, and they are able to provide a new perspective that you might not have considered.
Ask your closest friends for their observations. Good friends are willing to go straight to the point and give you their unfiltered opinions.
Were you happy?
To answer this properly, you need to be completely honest. Take stock of the good and bad times. Ask yourself: do you want to go through this again? If the relationship was more troubled than happy, maybe you’d be better off moving on.
Why do you want to get back with your ex?
Your motive is important. Do you want to get back with your ex because you’d like to exact revenge? Do you feel jilted and want to turn the tables?
If your reasons for getting back with your ex are less than positive, don’t even bother. The relationship is bound to be a train wreck and will only cause a lot of pain and heartache for both of you.
10 Psychological Tricks to Make Your Ex Come Back To You
So, you’ve reviewed your relationship. You’ve decided that it’s worth another shot, and you want to bring your ex back into your life. No problem!
There are several psychological tricks that can help you do just that. Some of these techniques can be more efficient, depending on your particular situation. Since every relationship is different, it helps to tailor these techniques to your specific case.
1. First up, don’t be too available.
The problem with exes is that it can be difficult to extricate yourself from them even after the breakup. This is because they’ve become part of your routine and your social circle. It is inevitable that you’ll run into them again at some point.
If you’re still pining for your ex, your natural instinct is to want to keep hanging around them. You want another shot, so you end up taking every opportunity to be in their company.
That’s the wrong move! If you keep being too available, your ex will recognize the desperation and there’s really nothing more unattractive than that. Instead of seeing you as someone they might want to get back with, your ex could end up despising your presence.
We’re not saying avoid your ex — that’s unnecessary and could look like you’re scared of confrontation. Just play it cool. Say hi back when he greets you, or nod if you see him around. Trust us — walking away is the better play here if you want to get him back into your life.
2. Don’t post bitter updates on social media.
Breakups are stressful; there’s just no going around that fact The last thing you want is to hold back on your many emotions.
Letting your feelings out is perfectly fine, but you do want to make sure that you do it within the right channels. Vent to your friends, write in your journal, do whatever it takes to get those negative feelings off your chest.
That said — do not post your bitter and unhappy thoughts on social media. The idea is to make your ex believe that you’re doing just fine without him. Avoid sharing memes about heartbreak, or anything that could reference your pain and loss.
In fact, try not to make negative posts at all. We want to cultivate a carefree image, and making vague posts about your ex isn’t the right way to go.
3. Don’t hide yourself away.
After a breakup, your first instinct is to mope at home. That’s perfectly natural, and there’s nothing wrong with taking a few days off to work through your emotions.
But you don’t want to spend all your time hiding under the covers — not if you want your ex to come back to you. No one wants to spend time with a sad sack! Your ex will think that every interaction with you will end up awkward, since you’re still in the grieving stage.
Instead, it would be much better to go out and live like normal. It’s not easy, especially when you’re going through emotional trouble. However, you have to make an effort if you want your ex to be interested in you again.
4. Revamp your look.
Okay — getting a makeover after a breakup is a necessary but tricky part of getting through the pain. Changing your look is a very transformative act that helps you regain some control and footing after such a devastating event in your life.
That being said, you don’t want to go overboard! Some experimentation is cool, but chopping all your hair off and dyeing it pink isn’t the best idea. Don’t let your emotions dictate your choices.
Consult a good stylist, get a flattering haircut — the works. If there’s ever one time to splurge on your looks, this is it. The goal is to bring out a fresh new you — one that’s happy and unsullied by heartbreak.
Best of all, a new look can get heads turning, and it’s a great way to catch your guy’s attention. Maybe he got used to seeing you a certain way when you were still together. A new look is sure to put you in a new light and pique his interest.
5. Live your best life.
Have you heard of reverse psychology? To get your ex interested, it’s very important to look like you don’t even need him back. Desperation and clinginess can kill your ex’s interest in a minute, but ignore him and you’ll have his eyes all over you for the rest of the day.
You want to look like you’re living your best life, enjoying new adventures and going about your business. It’s easier said than done, but this technique has the bonus effect of giving you new opportunities that you might have otherwise ignored.
Try out new things, join new organizations, go out with your friends! You want your ex to see the best version of you, and the easiest way to do that is to put yourself out there and actually enjoy yourself.
6. Look happy — especially on social media.
You might be wondering, why social media? Here’s the thing: social media is unavoidable. It’s the best way to curate your life and present the version of you that you’d like to share with the world.
Some people like to use this platform to show off their emotional issues and hang-ups, but that’s not the way to go if you want your ex to come back to you. Instead, you want to present a beautiful and attractive package that will rekindle your ex’s interest.
We’re not saying be fake — do go out and have a fun time. This is closely tied to living your best life, only you’re also taking the time to document that happiness and broadcast it to the world.
7. Work on improving yourself.
A makeover is not enough. It’s only fair to work on your flaws if you want to be the attractive package that charms your ex back.
See, being in a relationship could have left you stuck a certain way. You’re used to doing the same things over and over again, going to the same places and living within a boring routine.
The breakup is your chance to work on your weaknesses and become a better person. Go to the gym and start working out regularly. Learn new skills. As you improve, you become even more interesting and soon your ex will be crawling back begging for another chance.
8. “No” is a complete sentence.
Remember when we said don’t be too available? This is a related technique. You don’t want to be the person your ex goes to for every single favor!
The truth is that relationships can build certain patterns, and for ex-lovers, that can mean relying on the other for tasks and errands. Some people think that by continuing to run the same errands for their ex, it will become easier to reconcile and rekindle the relationship.
Wrong! You’re doing the emotional labor without strings attached. Instead, learn to say no. The relationship is over, and with that end comes the end of errands and favors. Don’t perform your usual tasks minus the actual comfort of a romantic relationship. You’re selling yourself short.
9. Never show jealousy.
Ah, the green-eyed monster. Nothing sends an ex running away faster than jealousy. It might have seemed a bit cute while you were together, but after a breakup? Definitely not.
Showing any hint of jealousy tells your ex that you haven’t moved on, and it can be very unattractive. People associate jealousy with awkward encounters, unhappy interactions, and — taken to the extreme — unhinged decisions.
If your ex has indicated that he’s ready to date someone else, play it cool. It’s not game over, and you don’t want to act in such a way that will turn him off from you forever.
10. Make contact.
Finally, when you’ve established that you’re a better, much improved person who couldn’t care less about your ex, it is time to re-establish the connection.
You’ve played it cool, you kept him at a distance, and he’s been seeing all of these cool posts on social media. There’s no denying that you’ve transformed and blossomed into an even better catch.
That’s when you send him a text to test the waters, and see if he’s ready to “catch up”. Trust us. After all the techniques you’ve employed? He’ll be back in your arms in a hot minute.
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