Infidelity is the bane of relationships, and if you’ve ever been on the unfortunate end of cheating, you’ve probably asked the question: why do men cheat?
It’s a complicated question, so obviously there’s no easy way to get a straightforward answer. Men have different reasons why they stray, and some will offer up flimsy excuses because they don’t want to think about the real reason why they are unfaithful.
Unfortunately, a lot of people tend to pass the blame on to the woman, arguing that a man will only stray because there’s something wrong with his partner. How many times have you heard people blaming infidelity on a woman “letting herself go” or nagging her guy too much?
In reality, there are a myriad of possible reasons why men cheat, and these have nothing to do with their partners. The decision to cheat stems from physical, mental, and emotional issues within a man, and without addressing these issues there’s a likely chance they’ll cheat again.
So why do men cheat?
They don’t know how to end a relationship.
Here’s the sad reality: a lot of men aren’t equipped with the emotional tools to communicate properly, especially where feelings are involved. They might feel like the relationship is going nowhere, or that their girlfriend isn’t the one.
Unfortunately, they don’t want to drag things out and talk about the relationship. They don’t want to discuss things or explain their side. They don’t feel like acknowledging their feelings because it’s hard work.
So they end up cheating, thinking it’s an easier to get out of the relationship without having to address any actual problems or issues.
They feel insecure.
Men might not want to reveal their emotions, but that doesn’t mean they don’t feel anything. They can be just as susceptible to fear and insecurities. This is doubly true when the opposite sex is involved.
Have you ever wondered why men cheat when their mid-life crisis hits? Men can feel less attractive or desirable once they hit middle age. They start seeking validation outside of the marriage, wanting to know if they still “got it”. They need to feel like they’re still the man, and for many that means sexual desirability.
They think cheating is normal.
Imagine this: you’re born into a family where all the men — at some point in their lives — commit an act of infidelity. Not one of them is absolutely faithful, and no one seems to bat an eye. In that sort of upbringing, a man can assume that cheating is simply a way of life, maybe even expected.
Why do men cheat? Because they think it’s normal for them to do so. They never had positive role models show them what healthy relationships are like, so their point of view is skewed from the get go.
They’re not emotionally ready.
Relationships are hard work. Sure, some think that love is supposed to be easy (like a Sunday morning, as the saying goes), but maintaining a relationship requires a lot of effort from both parties. You have to learn to compromise, communicate, and cooperate if you are to succeed.
The problem is that a lot of people enter into relationships without the necessary emotional maturity. They don’t know how to handle commitment and see it as a burden rather than a pledge of love, faithfulness, and respect for their partner.
They think it makes them superior.
Society has incredibly skewed views when it comes to sex and power. The gender-based double standards are real. Women with multiple sexual partners are shamed, while men are exalted for the same thing.
In fact, a man who stays monogamous may even be ridiculed. People may think he is weak for sticking to one woman. This sort of mentality leads men to assume that they are expected to amass as much sexual adventure as humanly possible.
So why do men cheat? Because society expects them do so, encouraging it even.
They seek emotional support.
Here’s the thing: women are given emotional support in the form of friends. They are lucky enough to have their inner circle to lean on. Men, however, don’t have the same support. Again, society views male vulnerability as weakness, so a lot of men would rather not open up to even their closest friends.
Most men will lean on their partners for emotional support, but when that isn’t available, they can start to seek elsewhere. That’s where cheating starts.
They don’t see any consequences.
Why do people cheat? Because they know they can get away with it. For a lot of men, the first instance of cheating is essentially a crime of opportunity. They had the chance and took it. They might pause briefly, wondering if their cheating would lead to a breakup.
If their partner lets it slide, they are more likely to cheat again. After all, who cares about morals when you don’t get punished anyway? Their actions in this case have no repercussions, so they figure that breaking commitment is perfectly acceptable.
They’re not that invested in the relationship.
Whatever she thinks they have, he doesn’t actually see this relationship as serious. He’s looking at this as a placeholder, biding his time with someone who’s okay but waiting for something better to come along.
It would be easier if everyone could be on the same page where love and relationships are concerned, but of course, that’s not always the case. The minute someone better appears, you can be sure they’ll be jumping to greener pastures in no time.
They’re scared because things are “too good to be true”.
Perfect couples break up all the time, and people sometimes wonder how infidelity came into the picture. They’re asking, why do people cheat even in seemingly perfect relationships? You’ve got everything and yet you easily throw it away.
Fear is the answer. They think that things simply can’t be too good to be true, so they act out, cheat, and hurt their partner before they end up hurt themselves. They think that nothing this good can last forever, so they might as well get their licks in before the end up the victim. Why do men cheat? Because they have emotional issues that weren’t addressed, and these can sabotage the relationships they build in their life.